Spongebob's Atlantis Squarepantis

Game: Spongebob's Atlantis Squarepantis
System: PS2, Wii
Developer: Blitz Games
Publisher: THQ
Rating: E
NOTE: Review by Superstarwarsjunkie

Atlantis Squarepantis is your basic Spongebob video game based on the TV movie from Nickelodeon. In this game you get to play as all the main charecters from the movie and even an Atlantean guard. The only things that are annoying about this game are: the tank levels are super boring (to me) and the movie was a musical, which means the game is a musical too.

Our rating is 1.5 for buy it , but not recommended for 15 or older (#1denverfan has no interest in it)

Now for the lock-ups section

Violence: The only things are the tanks shoot ice cream and Sandy uses Squidward to shoot ping pong balls at the Atlanteans.(the ESRB overreacted AGAIN!!!!)
Suggestive themes: It's Spongebob, so nothing in this game.
Language: Spongbob so noo language!
Occult Content: *HaHaHaHaHa* (Nope)
Cultural/Moral/Ethical: *HaHaHaHaHa* (nope again)
Our Rating is 1 for clean as clean gets
God Bless and Happy Gaming
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

Gran Turismo 4

Game: Gran Turismo 4
System: PS2
Developer: Polyphonic Digital
Publisher: Sony
Rating: E

One of the last great PS2 exclusive games, the (and I mean THE) most realistic racing game for the PS2 EVER is what we are reviewing. What amazes me about this game is that, 200 or so cars and 51 tracks aside, is that the graphics aren't even as good on the 360. Cars from all the way back to the 1880s are available, as well as some sweet concepts. Many tracks are taken from both real life and previous versions of the game. My (#1denverfan) personal favorite is the High Speed Ring, since I grew up on NASCAR and road courses I hate.
Our rating is 1.5, but not because it has problems (it doesn't). Unfortunately, it's not wise to buy it no matter what the circumstances; because of the massive amounts of information it has, it is a double-layered disc. If your PS2 is 3 or above, don't buy this game because it probably won't work.
It's a racing game, blast it. But because of procedure, here's the lockup section.
Violence-The cars don't even take damage.
Suggestive themes-Drivers are not visible.
Language-Tracks by such as Papa Roach and Van Halen pose the only possible problem.
Occult Content-Nope.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-It's a blasted racing game!
Our rating is 1 for anyone.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & superstarwarsjunkie

Intellivision Lives

Game: Intellivision Lives!

Systems: PS2, Xbox, Gamecube

Developer: Realtime Associates

Publisher: Crave

Rating: E

Intellivision Lives! is a compilation game of over 60 classic games from the Intellivision system. Great concept, especially for nostalgic adults. But, the same great concept turns itself into one of the worst games in history through a very simple error. It just doesn't work! On the classic system there was a twelve button keypad that would do everything. The developer was not able to recreate that well using the controller. It only can happen through a complicated process. Mind you, if they shipped an accessory with it that looked like the original controller and worked as the necesary 12 button keypad, it would have received at least a 2. But the concept just doesn't work!
Our rating is 5-Total junk. You'll feel like a loser just touching the case at Best Buy!
Every cloud has it's silver lining. The silver lining here is the hideously short lock-up section.
Violence-No realistic violence, although there are some war games.
Suggestive themes-The graphics are much too primitive to warrant anything like that.
Language-No talking, no language. It's that simple.
Occult Content-One of the game sections is called "Combat and Sorcery", but we didn't see anything overtly occult.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-There's gambling in it (Blackjack, etc.), but that's all we saw.
Our rating is 2-Good for preteens.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

Rugby 06

Game: Rugby 06
Systems: PS2, Xbox, PC
Developer: EA Sports
Publisher: EA Sports
Rating: E

A great sports game is one that can make you understand enough of it to play and play well, even if you have no prior experience in said sport. Rugby 06 does exactly that, because we doubt that most readers have any background in rugby. All of the important rules of rugby are included in the manual. The tutorials are very helpful in learning the game. Even more important for the novice are the impact players. Marked by a star above their head, they can completely break open a game with their skill set.
Our rating is 1-Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances!

Lock-ups ahoy! Or, not.
Violence: The worst is in the game called a high tackle. It's basically the equivalent of what we would call a chlothesline. It's almost always penalized, though.
Suggestive Themes: Nope
Language: Nope
Occult Content: none
Cultural/Moral/Ethical: There are buttons you can press to perform illegal actions, such as handling the ball in the ruck. But, most of the time those are penalized.
Our rating is 1-Clean as clean gets.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

NFL Head Coach

Game: NFL Head Coach
Systems: PC, Xbox, PS2
Developer: EA Tiburon
Publisher: EA Sports
Rating: E

Our game this week , "From the creators of Madden, comes the world's first 3D sports RTS!" NFL Head Coach, the world's first sports-related RTS game, allows you to become a head coach and live like one. Design plays, practice, draft players, sign free agents, and the like. There are some major glitches in this game, but those are ones that only a true football addict who won't eat until the draft is done would notice. The concept sounds hard, but trust us. It gets a heck of a lot easier.
Our rating is 1-Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances!

Now for our lock-ups section
Violence: Nothing more than a tackle
Suggestive Themes: none
Language: none
Occult Content: nope
Cultural/Moral/Ethical: nothing
Our ranking is 1 for clean as clean gets.
God Bless and Happy Gaming!

#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie

FIFA Street

Game: FIFA Street
Systems: GameCube, Xbox, PS2
Developer: EA Canada
Publisher: EA Sports BIG
Rating: E

FIFA Street is an extraordinary game filled with spectacular suprises, awesome game modes, and sweet beat moves. There is the Rule The Street where you create the captain of your team, choose the other positions on your team, choose a team logo, choose team colors, and make uniforms for your team (optional). Then going around the world and kicking the backsides of the other teams form that place. FIFA Street's exibition mode is another mode that sets this game apart from the rest. You can even choose the ball you play with!

Our rating is 1.5 for depends on who you are (if we were you, you would buy it in a heart beat)



Now for the lock-ups section



Violence:The slide tackles are pretty hard, but it's not bad.
Suggestive Themes:none
Language:none
Occult Content: none
Cultural/Moral/Ethical:none
Our ranking is 1 for clean as clean gets.
God Bless and happy gaming!

#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie

MX vs. ATV Unleashed

Game: MX vs. ATV Unleashed
System: PS2, Xbox, PC
Developer: Rainbow Studios
Publisher: THQ
Rating: E

MX vs. ATV Unleashed is a good representative of the very miniscule genre of motorcycle racing. It's a basic racing game, but with a lot more strategy involved. It's definitely challenging, because you have to preload the suspension on most every jump, not to mention, some of the hardest jumps are just off of turns, so you have to preload the suspension and turn the corner at the same time. It gets to be a pain in the back side after a while. The freestyle mode also is very challenging; they've got some sweet tricks in there though. Basically, this game has a ton of replay value.

Our rating is 1-Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances!

Now for our lock-ups section.

Violence: You can land on other peoples bikes and ATVs and knock them off. The track named Lagos has a noose (something that they hang people with) and it's kind of scary.
Sugigestive Themes: None.
Language: I hear NOTHING, NOTHING!
Occult Content: None.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical:nope.
(We got tired of Jonah references) =) Our ranking is 2 for preteens
God bless and happy gaming!

#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie

MVP Baseball 2005

Game: MVP Baseball 2005
System: PS2, Xbox, GameCube, PC
Developer: EA Sports
Publisher: EA Sports
Rating: E

MVP 05 has long been considered the best baseball game in the history of said sport. We will be another in a long line of critics to say so. So many things set this game apart, before 2K bought the rights to the MLB. One of the many things that sold us on this game being the best was the insane amount of minor league teams. AAA, AA, and A are all in there, including our hometown team, the Springfield Cardinals. Another of their great innovations was the "Hitter's Eye" setup. It will show you what class of pitch is coming at you, such as green for changeup or white for fastball. But watch out for when you're expecting a 12-6 curveball but you get a slider! Man, that screws you up.
Our rating is 1-Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances!

A super-insanely short lockup section comes. IT'S ALIIIIVE!!
Violence: This is a baseball game, so no problems. Plain and simple.
Suggestive themes: none
Language: nothing
Occult Content: zilch
Cultural/Moral/Ethical: nada

After yet another Jonah reference, our ranking here at SWAVGRS is 1 for clean as clean gets.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004

Game: Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004

System: PS2, Xbox, Gamecube

Developer: EA Sports

Publisher: EA Sports

Rating: E

As our "Welcome Back" presents to you, we present a review of an early build of a classic franchise. My favorite part of this game is the PGA Tour Season mode, Superstarwarsjunkie's, the World Tour mode. Both modes allow you to create your own player. In PGA Tour Season mode, you get ten years to win all of the tournaments and awards the game has to offer. In World Tour Mode, there is an opportunity to unlock more golfers as you play through the game. Win a match, and the golfer is yours (except if they're real, they were already yours). Along with this, all of the traditional setups (stroke, match, foursome, etc.) plus a few arcade ones (BattleBall [match play with a twist, you lose the hole, you lose a club], and a Long Drive competition). Our only problem, the system requires you to create a profile, or you have to go through the tutorial over and over. This can be a pain in the butt when you're out of card space and you just wanna play a nice round with your friends.

Our rating is one, dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances!

The lockup section is definitely longer than usual (I guess all that means is no Jonah references, lol).
Violence: This is a golf game! What did you expect, WWE Smackdown?
Suggestive themes: Mostly optional things, such as a song or shirt on a female character (who stinks hardcore, btw)
Language: Bleeped out portions of a song, basically.
Occult Content: Nope.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical: Are you kidding me?
Our rating is 2 for preteens.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie

College Hoops 2K5

Game: College Hoops 2K5
System: PS2, Xbox
Developer: Visual Concepts
Publisher: Sega
Rating: E
Here at SWAVGRS, one of our favorites comes to play in this review. College Hoops 2K5 is a masterpiece that has great gameplay and graphics. When you play, you feel like you just entered the arena and sitting in the best seats in the house. The Legacy Modes are outstanding. The career mode is the one of the two modes most played here at SWAVGRS and it is outstanding. You create one to four coaches. You start out at a very small school, then work your way up to the powerhouse schools. The Open Mode is the other mode in the Legacy section. You can choose any school from the game, and once again, pick one to four schools. This mode you can't create your coaches, but the ability to pick any school in the game pretty much makes up for that disadvantage.
Our rating is 1, dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances!

Yet another short lock-up section coming your way.
Violence- There's really nothing here.
Suggestive Themes-The cheerleaders show some stomach, but that is basically normal.
Language-Nothing
Occult content-Zilch
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-Nada
You gotta love those Jonah references! The rating is 1, clean as clean gets.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie

NBA Live 2005

Game: NBA Live 2005

System: PS2, Xbox, Gamecube, PC

Developer: EA Sports

Publisher: EA Sports

Rating: E



Our 5th review at SWAVGRs takes us to one of the greatest games of all time. NBA Live 2005 is a revolutionary game, in that the Dynasty mode is much more inclusive (and it's a lot easier for your players to gain stats through the training sessions), and in the blessed Slam Dunk contest. All of the modes in NBA All-Star Weekend are an insane amount of fun. The Rookies v. Sophmores game adds a game with LeBron & Melo against that year's rookie class. The classic three point shootout is back, the aforementioned Slam Dunk Contest, and finally, the All-Star game. Gameplay is magnificent, the animations have improved tremendously.

Our rating is 1 for Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances!

Here's yet another insanely short lock up section.

Violence- Nothing more violent than a hard foul inside the paint.

Suggestive Themes-There are no cheer leaders, and the fans are a blur so there are absolutely no suggestive themes in this awesome video game.
Language-Nothing
Occult content-Zilch
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-Nada
After yet another Jonah reference, our rating is 1 for clean as clean gets.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

ESPN NFL 2K5

Game: ESPN NFL 2K5
System: PS2, Xbox
Developer: Visual Concepts
Publisher: Sega (2K Sports)
Rating: E

In review #4 of SWAVGRs, another football game is going under our scrutinous radar. ESPN NFL 2K5 and the series in general had the potential to be one of the greatest franchises the sport has ever seen. Unfortunately, Madden bought out the rights for the NFL, and has started making progressively worse games since this agreement was made. Good for the company, bad for the gamer. Why we go through this intense monologue is to prove to you that this is one of the best games in the history of the planet. The graphics are like being at the stadium in decent seats. Gameplay is phenominally realistic. Best of all, it is reasonably priced.

Our rating for this game is 1-Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances.
Here's another farily short lock up section.
Violence-It's a football game! There will be hits!
Suggestive themes-You will see the cheerleaders regularly. But like in Arena Football, all cutscenes can be skipped.
Language-Nothing.
Occult content-Zilch.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-Nada.
Aside from the Jonah reference, our rating is 2-good for preteens.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie

LEGO Star Wars II

Game: LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy
System: PS2, Xbox, GameCube, PC, Xbox 360
Developer: Traverlers Tales
Publisher: LucasArts
Rating: E10+

In our third review here at SWAVGRs, we will be reviewing a very good game. In this game, you can go from playing as Leia on the Tantive IV to blowing up the second Death Star with Lando Calrissian and the Millenium Falcon. It's got the best graphics we have ever seen on a LEGO licsensed game, and that includes LEGO Island II: Brickster's Revenge (that was a PSX game). Though the graphics are great, the game is very unique and easy. This is a member of a very exclusive club (E-E10+ rated Star Wars games) and most great games of the Action/Adventure genre (and even the racing genre [Star Wars Episode I Racer]) come from this club. It will be a great hit with the kids, and even the parents (our dad is addicted to it).
Our rating for this game is 2-Great, but not "Game of the Year" material.

This game is rated E10+ by the ESRB (boo!) for Cartoon Violence and Crude Humor. Our lock up section is as follows:
Violence- Chewbacca rips people's arm's off, people shoot each other, there's even some lightsaber action involved. Standard Star Wars fare made kid friendly by inserting LEGOs.
Suggestive themes-Remember that part in Episode VI when Leia was Jabba's slave? Basically, is wasn't pretty to the mind of moral people. I still fast forward through that part. But, it's LEGOs, so no problemos.
Language-There's no talking AT ALL in this game, therefore no problems.
Occult Content- The Force is the only possible objectionable thing in this category, but if you let your kids watch the films, you really don't have a problem.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-None.
Our rating is 1.5 (Our rating is 1, but some could feel it would be a 2)
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan and superstarwarsjunkie

FIFA 06

Game: FIFA 06 Soccer
System: PS2, Xbox, GameCube
Developer: EA Sports
Publisher: EA Sports
Rating: E

Our second review here at SWAVGRs is of a true masterpiece, FIFA 06 Soccer. The game is as realistic as can be, and leaves every single other soccer game in the dust! The best feature by far is the Manager Mode, which has been lacking in previous editions of the FIFA Series and the (blow a raspberry at) Winning 11 series. Another great feature is the massive amounts of teams from 26 or so leagues plus the major divisions of the British, French, German, Italian, and Spanish leagues.
The rating for this game is 1-Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances.

This is the lock up section, and it will be the shortest ever.
Violence-Nothing more gory than a slide tackle from behind, but you will always be penalized for it.
Suggestive themes-None
Occult-Are you kidding me?!?!? Heck no!
Language-The people don't talk during the game, and all of the music is in some foreign language, so if they were cussing, you'd never know.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-None
Our rating is 1-Clean as clean gets.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

Arena Football

Game: Arena Football
System: PS2, Xbox
Developer: Tiburon Entertainment
Publisher: EA Sports
Rating: E10+

In this inaugural review of Super Wicked Awesome Video Game Reviews, we are reviewing what could be considered a true classic. It has some of the best graphics I have ever seen in a football game. What also sets it apart is hitting people over walls, and the simple playbook. That last one makes it accessible for people who have never played a sports video game, but that is it's downfall for loyal fans of the genre, such as our staff. Another fault in this game is the feature that EA calls "Telemetry." Apparently it is supposed to help one find weaknesses in the defense. But so far, our staff here at SWAVGRs have found it useless and taking up space on the disc that could have been used to add the AF2. (Note: This was done in AF: Road to Glory, but Road to Glory has been left unplayed by the reviewers here because of the ESRB's designation ticking our mom off) But on the bright side, "Be the Receiver" mode and the ability to unlock classic Arena teams make for some of the best features of this already great game.
Our rating in this category is 2- We recommend it, but it isn't "Game of the Year" material.

Now we go to every parent's favorite part of the reviews: the "Lock-Ups" as we call them here at SWAVGRs. The ESRB rating for this game is E10+ for Language, Mild Violence, and Suggestive Themes. In fact, this rating convinced our mom to not let us play it, until a certain review came out (God bless Al Menconi!).
Violence-
Remember that this is a football game so there will be hits. People will fly over walls, and there are cutscenes after touchdowns which have the scorer celebrating and soon getting knocked cold by a member of the opposing team.
Suggestive themes-
At halftime, the cheerleaders come out, and their uniforms definitely aren't the most modest I've ever seen. But all cutscenes can be skipped by pressing X on the PS2 or A on the Xbox.
Language-
Skip the coach scenes and you should be fine. (Coaches get heated at players)
Occult Content-
One unlockable team is called the New Orleans VooDoo, but we do not find this offensive. It is only there if your kid asks you what it means.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical
Nothing
Our rating is 2 for preteens.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

How we do things around here

Here at Super Wicked Awesome Video Game Reviews, we (my bro & I) strive to give you the best entertainment possible and to warn you about potential (our terminology) lock-ups, meaning the junk that they put in video games. As such, we see ourselves as a more reliable game rating agency than the ESRB. We have two systems in place: one for how good the game plays (this will take up 1/2 of the post) and the lock-ups in that game (This will take up the other half of the post). This is our "Classic or Bust" (quality of gameplay & graphics) system.
1- Dude, get this game no matter what the circumstances!
2-We recommend it, but it's not "Game of the Year" material.
3-Very average game
4- It's below the standard for that company, console or series.
5-Total junk. You'll feel like a loser just touching the case at Best Buy!
This is our "Lock-ups" (is it clean or garbage) system.
1- Cleanest you can get, perfect for anyone.
2- Has minute problems, good for preteens.
3- Teens can handle it.
4- Adults could handle it, but they'd have to be very desensitized.
5- Call Waste Management, there's some major garbage that needs to be picked up!
It's really that simple.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie