FIFA 06

Game: FIFA 06 Soccer
System: PS2, Xbox, GameCube
Developer: EA Sports
Publisher: EA Sports
Rating: E

Our second review here at SWAVGRs is of a true masterpiece, FIFA 06 Soccer. The game is as realistic as can be, and leaves every single other soccer game in the dust! The best feature by far is the Manager Mode, which has been lacking in previous editions of the FIFA Series and the (blow a raspberry at) Winning 11 series. Another great feature is the massive amounts of teams from 26 or so leagues plus the major divisions of the British, French, German, Italian, and Spanish leagues.
The rating for this game is 1-Dude, buy this game no matter what the circumstances.

This is the lock up section, and it will be the shortest ever.
Violence-Nothing more gory than a slide tackle from behind, but you will always be penalized for it.
Suggestive themes-None
Occult-Are you kidding me?!?!? Heck no!
Language-The people don't talk during the game, and all of the music is in some foreign language, so if they were cussing, you'd never know.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical-None
Our rating is 1-Clean as clean gets.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

Arena Football

Game: Arena Football
System: PS2, Xbox
Developer: Tiburon Entertainment
Publisher: EA Sports
Rating: E10+

In this inaugural review of Super Wicked Awesome Video Game Reviews, we are reviewing what could be considered a true classic. It has some of the best graphics I have ever seen in a football game. What also sets it apart is hitting people over walls, and the simple playbook. That last one makes it accessible for people who have never played a sports video game, but that is it's downfall for loyal fans of the genre, such as our staff. Another fault in this game is the feature that EA calls "Telemetry." Apparently it is supposed to help one find weaknesses in the defense. But so far, our staff here at SWAVGRs have found it useless and taking up space on the disc that could have been used to add the AF2. (Note: This was done in AF: Road to Glory, but Road to Glory has been left unplayed by the reviewers here because of the ESRB's designation ticking our mom off) But on the bright side, "Be the Receiver" mode and the ability to unlock classic Arena teams make for some of the best features of this already great game.
Our rating in this category is 2- We recommend it, but it isn't "Game of the Year" material.

Now we go to every parent's favorite part of the reviews: the "Lock-Ups" as we call them here at SWAVGRs. The ESRB rating for this game is E10+ for Language, Mild Violence, and Suggestive Themes. In fact, this rating convinced our mom to not let us play it, until a certain review came out (God bless Al Menconi!).
Violence-
Remember that this is a football game so there will be hits. People will fly over walls, and there are cutscenes after touchdowns which have the scorer celebrating and soon getting knocked cold by a member of the opposing team.
Suggestive themes-
At halftime, the cheerleaders come out, and their uniforms definitely aren't the most modest I've ever seen. But all cutscenes can be skipped by pressing X on the PS2 or A on the Xbox.
Language-
Skip the coach scenes and you should be fine. (Coaches get heated at players)
Occult Content-
One unlockable team is called the New Orleans VooDoo, but we do not find this offensive. It is only there if your kid asks you what it means.
Cultural/Moral/Ethical
Nothing
Our rating is 2 for preteens.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan & Superstarwarsjunkie

How we do things around here

Here at Super Wicked Awesome Video Game Reviews, we (my bro & I) strive to give you the best entertainment possible and to warn you about potential (our terminology) lock-ups, meaning the junk that they put in video games. As such, we see ourselves as a more reliable game rating agency than the ESRB. We have two systems in place: one for how good the game plays (this will take up 1/2 of the post) and the lock-ups in that game (This will take up the other half of the post). This is our "Classic or Bust" (quality of gameplay & graphics) system.
1- Dude, get this game no matter what the circumstances!
2-We recommend it, but it's not "Game of the Year" material.
3-Very average game
4- It's below the standard for that company, console or series.
5-Total junk. You'll feel like a loser just touching the case at Best Buy!
This is our "Lock-ups" (is it clean or garbage) system.
1- Cleanest you can get, perfect for anyone.
2- Has minute problems, good for preteens.
3- Teens can handle it.
4- Adults could handle it, but they'd have to be very desensitized.
5- Call Waste Management, there's some major garbage that needs to be picked up!
It's really that simple.
God bless and happy gaming!
#1denverfan and Superstarwarsjunkie